By Ingrid Schmoutziguer, communications advisor
An interesting viewpoint that really resonated with the audience, who readily shared how difficult it can be to juggle work, home, children and their social life. And how their needs are more often than not at the very bottom of the list. 'But it is really important to make sure your cup stays full, as you simply have nothing to give from an empty cup, said Harari. 'It is exactly the same thing they tell you when you are on an airplane. You need to put on your own oxygen mask before helping your children'.
How do you prioritise your well-being as a parent?
This is definitely not easy, but it is also not impossible, according to Harari, who then takes the audience through the steps of recognising and valueing:
- Time & priorities
- Self-care
- Negative emotions
- Parenting for the future
Time affluence
Instead of feeling that you never have time for anything that matters to you, parents can create 'time affluence' in their daily life. For example by recognising 'time confetti', these 5-mins blocks in the day when you have nothing on. Instead of turning to your to-do-list you can also spend these moments intentionally on for example, listening to music, dance around the house or a short walk. It can also help to schedule time affluence blocks in your calendar, or spend some money to save time. For your children this means scheduling less activities ensuring they can spend more unstructured time to charge their batteries.
Self-Compassion
Try to be kind to yourself in the same way you would be kind to a friend. When dealing with difficult emotions, recognise them and allow yourself to really feel these emotions, investigate them and be honest about what it is you need. Pushing emotions away or beating yourself up for feeling the way you feel is counterproductive and as negative emotions are really contagious, children might suffer from their parents' emotions.
Gratitude
There is no need to keep a gratitude diary in which you write every day. However, summing up a few things every day that you're grateful for, really helps to feel more positive. 'You can be grateful for a nice cup of coffee, a call from a friend, a beautiful flower in the park', said Harari. 'Just try and think of these things when you are driving to work, cooking a meal or even when you're brushing your teeth'.
Over-parenting
Compared to 20 years ago, research shows that parents have become more anxious and finding it more difficult to allow their children to fail and learn from their mistakes. Whilst removing all obstacles from a child's life, is not beneficial to their well-being in the long run, states Harari. 'Failure is a gift', she explained. 'If we are prepared to let them take a hit and give them space to work through this, we create resilient adults.'
Want to know more?
If you missed the parent evening, are interested in one-on-one coaching, or join a retreat, please reach out to Elinor Harari via her website.